It’s In the Mail!
Oh Dog! Rumpy here, and today I’m trying my hand at my first-ever review. It’s not about a product, but instead about a service.
As you may know, I receive lots of packages. So today I’m going to rate the delivery services that bring me those packages from a dog’s point of view.
United States Postal Service: We have a box on a stick outside the fence for mail. The mail human drives up to the box and puts things in it. But if the things don’t fit, the human takes it back and leaves a piece of paper instead. Then Jen has to go away to get my box. I guess that’s better than what they did once, which was to drop my box on the ground by the box-on-a-stick. Jen was REALLY mad that day and the dog next door was jealous!
I don’t get it. Why can’t they just bring it to the door? Jen says cutbacks lead to bad attitudes. June Buggie says they’re afraid of me. I say phooey!
FedEx: That’s another human that’s afraid of me. But he seems a little weird so the feeling’s mutual. Once he delivered my box to the wrong street, even though my name was on the box. Doesn’t he know where I live? And once he came and sat outside our yard for 15 minutes before giving me my box because he said he was on a mandatory break and he couldn’t work until it was over. So Jen brought us outside and we barked at him. After that he started leaving boxes hung on the side of the box-on-a-stick. I don’t think I like him very much.
UPS: These deliverers wear uniforms the color of poo! So you know I like them already! When they leave my boxes, they either put them inside the glass outer door or behind the shrub. That way that dog next door won’t see them and be jealous. Jen says she wishes she could get them to go to the side door instead, but that’s a minor complaint. DeDe barks at them and I give ‘em the woo woo woo! But they don’t seem to be scared of me. Well, there was one young guy at Christmas that was afraid, but that was because his buddy took off in the truck and left him…. but then he remembered and turned around and got him.
So who’s my favorite? Hands-down, it’s Jen! She’s the one that brings them inside and opens them for me. Yay Jen!