Oh Dog! I have become aware of an organization called the WLF, or the Whiskas Liberation Front. This group inhabits the Twittersphere and they all wear funny hats called berets. I, Rumpy T. Drummond, have decided to investigate this group of cats in hats, and find out just what they’re all about!
My investigation revealed that this is a group of Socialist cats that spans around the globe. They also allow other creatures into their ranks, as long as they are sympathetic to the cause.
They have a working blog kept by mascot Eldrid Elephant. This string-soup-eating little guy was a tough nut to crack, but eventually I got some information out of him. For instance, did you know that WLF Comrades resist the oppression of cats and that they campaign for prolific and high quality snacks, such as Dreamies, ham, cheese, sushi and tuna? Oh Dog! These guys eat good!
I came across some group by-laws, and gleaned yet more information. According to organization writings, regular patrols are a requirement of every WLF Comrade. I wonder just where they patrol, and if the Border Patrol ever tried to hire them?
According to the by-laws, “Our methods of defence (defense to you Americans) include but are not restricted to widdling, pouncing, hissing and yowling. Although we praise the capture of vermin and insects, we do not condone cruelty or any form of violence.” What? Cats for peace? Could this be?
These cats have the audacity to insist on, “…the softest of cushions for our numerous, lengthy naps and periods of meditation to enable us to ponder the ideals of the proletariat as set out in the WLF Manifesto.” But they say their manifesto is missing…. I bet it was STOLEN! But that is another mystery for another day. Anyway, these cats always post to Twitter using the hashtag #wlf. That way they can track each other’s movements undetected by the general public.
Also, according to their by-laws, the WLF uses social media channels to “oppose any injustice anywhere in the world whatever species those affected might belong to.” These crafty kitties have been known to Yowl against injustice, and on #WiddleWednesday have peed on people they don’t like. Muammar Gaddafi was a recent recipient of their widdle, and look what happened to him! That is one powerful group of widdlers!
If YOU want to join the Whiskas Liberation Front, go to their web site (http://eldridelephant.wordpress.com/about-eldrid/) and read their Code (available in English and German). Then if you believe in their revolutionary socialist ideals, start using the #wlf hashtag on Twitter on a regular basis and “follow” other cats in hats, in particular @eldridelephant, the group’s #memorybank. You might eventually get a beret; its not automatic but presented to #wlf comrades ‘for dedicated service to the cause.’
So, dogs and cats, now you know what’s up with all those kitty berets running around Twitter. Be aware, be wary…. and be warned! woo woo woo!