How Dogs See Christmas
First comes November, and the humans have a big feast! They cook and they cook and they cook. Then they eat and they eat and they eat. Then they eat some more. And sometimes I get a taste as well.
After that comes the season of hunting. The humans are always gone. They come back with these bags filled with stuff. Or sometimes boxes of stuff is offered by the Man Who Wears Brown. The humans put festive paper on the stuff and put it under this tree they bring inside.
Oh yes, a tree! Inside! But they won’t let me near it! How can I check my pee-mail if I can’t sniff the tree? *sigh*
Anyway, after a month of great hunting, they have another feast. They cook and they cook and they cook. Then they eat and they eat and they eat. Then they tear the festive paper off all the stuff and look at it. Then they eat some more.
Sometimes I get to tear the festive paper off the stuff too. And sometimes there is something for me inside! It’s so exciting! I love Christmas!
How Cats See Christmas
In the late fall, the humans begin their hunt. They score many trophies, then hide them inside bright paper and bags. They decorate their homes to show others their prowess at gathering stuff.
Always the opportunist, I check out their spoils to see if there’s anything I might want for myself. I tear the paper. I pull everything out of the bags. I puke on it. I claw the things to leave my mark. Then I climb inside a fake tree and hide.
Then comes a day of feasting. They try to banish me to the dungeon that they call a bedroom, but I am too smart for them and I climb on top of a bookshelf. I stare down at them with contempt. Then, when they are so busy eating they forget about me, I jump down from the shelf, up on the table, and steal a tasty morsel for myself. Losers!
After the feast, the humans share the spoils of their hunts with one another. They tear off the paper, and I jump on it to make sure it’s dead. The humans appear particularly pleased that each trophy has the scent of me.
And then I take a nap. Bah humbug!