I’m struggling with what to do about DeDe.
You see, she still eats. She still wags her tail when she sees me. She still smiles.
But she struggles to get up and down. Sometimes when she sleeps, she doesn’t wake when I get up, or even when I walk out of the room. She’s fallen a few times. She won’t take her medication, and after hiding it in every food I can think of, I’ve had to resort to crushing it, mixing it in water, and forcing it down her throat.
Then there is the stress this causes the others in the home, including me.
It’s not really something I’ve wanted to write about, because who wants to sound human? How can I let you know that what I’m scared, frustrated, and that even if I did think DeDe was a candidate for some high-tech treatment, I simply couldn’t afford it?
No, I’d much rather you think I’m a saint.
But I can’t hide behind the blog.
Villalobos’ Quality of Life Scale measures whether or not DeDe has a quality of life, and DeDe scores over 35.
So the question for me is: What is acceptable? Does she really have a quality of life that is good for her? Do I want her to score below 35 before I make a decision? Can I live like this for what may be weeks, or even months? And what impact is this having on the others?
Actually, Bubba scores lower on the scale than DeDe, so I guess I’d better consider what is right for him as well.
They’ve had good lives. I don’t want the end for them to be frightening and pain-filled.
There are no easy answers here.
And no, I’m not asking for your advice, so please don’t give any.