I have a confession to make: We are a dysfunctional family.
As the sole human in the mix, I have to accept full responsibility, though I really don’t want to. But what kind of goober would I be if I blamed it on the cat?
Let me explain.
I wake up every morning to June Buggie giving me fits. He doesn’t like me sleeping in, because he’s ready to eat. So he paws at me, jumps on me, and runs across my chest. After 17 years together, he knows what irritates me the most, and uses every tool at his disposal to get me up and moving.
Yet despite his impatience with me in not getting up right away, he then makes the wait for breakfast even longer by running out on the porch, forcing me to chase him and put him back inside before taking Rumpy out to potty.
I put down his food, and June Buggie digs in as though he hadn’t eaten in days. Then I put Bubba in the bedroom with his food, as he eats separately. So what does the starving June Buggie do? Position himself outside the bedroom door and wait until Bubba has finished. What? I thought just a minute ago you were dying of starvation!
After about a half hour, I open the bedroom door and June Buggie rushes in, hoping Bubba has left some food behind. Once again, June Buggie eats like a starving cat. But that only lasts a few seconds, because Rumpy is very good at sneaking in when I’m not looking, and claiming the leftovers for himself.
I know what you’re wondering: Does June Buggie ever actually eat?
Before I leave for work, Rumpy and I go for a walk. When I come back, Rumpy gets a cookie if he is a good dog- and even if he isn’t. June Buggie has decided he deserves a treat as well, and meows loudly until he gets one. Of course I give it to him, because I worry he didn’t get enough to eat at breakfast, though it was clearly his own fault if he didn’t. But I’m just a sucker for a furry face.
I guess by now you’re talking amongst yourselves and planning an intervention. Save it. The first step toward change is admitting there’s a problem, and while I’ll be the first to tell you we could do better, June Buggie sees absolutely nothing wrong with this arrangement.
And that, my friends, is why June Buggie is at fault here. Go ahead, call me a goober.