Dogpaddling Through Life
grief
Dear Little Girl, What Can the Matter Be?
Little Girl has decided she no longer wants to go downstairs to eat. For the life of me I don’t know why. Instead she stands at the top of the stairs and meows pitifully. She won’t come downstairs no matter how much I beg, and she won’t let me pick her up and take her … Continue reading
Making Memories
My dad died. I’ve been trying to make sense of things since I got the news. Our relationship was…. complicated, and I don’t want to talk about that here. Death makes me think of a clean cut with a sharp knife that removes a limb, but not the phantom sensations. My father is no longer … Continue reading
It’s Rumpy’s Birthday Month But I’m Not Celebrating
This morning I woke the same way I have for the past few days: clutching one of Rumpy’s old stuffed toys. October is Rumpy’s Gotcha month. He’s been gone for 6 months, but the hurt is as acute as the day he died. In some ways things have improved. Now that I no longer care … Continue reading
Life Goes On…
Bubba is home. He had stopped eating and was back to hiding in the bathroom closet sleeping all day. He was in a lot of pain. My sweet boy. I have taken his death particularly hard. Or maybe it’s the grieving the loss of four companions within the past 16 months. I feel incredibly guilty, and … Continue reading
And When it Rains, it Pours…
Because just when you thought things could not possibly get any worse… Bubba is not doing so well. Lately he’s taken to sleeping in the bathroom closet. This morning after he ate breakfast, Bubba jumped from the sink to a shelf in the bathroom closet and napped on the towels. I had field … Continue reading
Dear Rumpy…
Dear Rumpy, It’s hard to believe it ‘s been one month since you died. I am still not used to waking and not having to immediately go outside, or not needing to hurry home so you can pee. I don’t spend much time outside in the yard anymore. Last week I mowed the yard and saw the … Continue reading
Please Keep Buggie in Your Thoughts
June Buggie is not well. Since Rumpy’s death, June Buggie has been acting sick. At first I thought he was mourning, but he hasn’t snapped out of it. So today we went to the vet. I showed her his back where he fur fell out last week after I applied Revolution. I told her about … Continue reading
Walking Around in Circles
I woke up Wednesday morning at 3 am and began the countdown. Seven hours left, then six, then three, then one… Each hour I committed to be present for Rumpy. No nose stuck in a laptop or phone. No busy work. I talked to him. I reminded him of the day we met. How after it … Continue reading
More From Rumpy
I am now assigned to work from home. It’s great to get to be here with Rumpy and the kitties more, even if I’m working. Especially now. Rumpy has taken a turn for the worse. He still eats well and never says no when I offer to take him outside, but his breathing continues to … Continue reading
Suck it Up, Buttercup!
I’ve been hesitant to write. Not because I don’t know what to say, but because my dog is dying and I don’t want to talk about that publicly too much. I know you’re animal lovers and that you understand. But stoicism is the message we’ve been given all our lives; you don’t grieve animals. You bury them and move on. And … Continue reading
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