June Buggie here, and I have something to say!
It’s that time of year when we write you letters telling you how good we are, and begging you for something nice. Well, Santa, I cannot lie. I’ve not been a good kitty. But I have an excuse! See, my human, Jen, named me Junior, then she gave me this cutesy nickname: June Buggie.
And now everybody seems to think I’m a girl. *heavy sigh*
So I’d like you to bring me something to show the world that I’m a MAN! Grrrrr!!!!
I was thinking maybe some rubber testicles like men with inflated egos hang on the back of their trucks. Of course, you’d also have to bring a truck, because Jen says no way I can hang them on the back of her car. Oh yeah, and I’ll need a driver’s license.
How about some of that manly cologne I see advertised on TV? The one that makes women chase you around and stuff? Oh wait, what if it makes women DOGS chase me around? Nah, nix that one too.
Maybe some power tools? I know, a chain saw! And a hard hat! And a cool tool belt! But wait, what if someone asks to borrow my tools or actually wants me to fix something?
Or maybe you could bring me a new nickname. Yeah! Something manly, like Ace, or Dude, or Skipper.
But….. what if Jen forgets my new nickname? She is old, after all. She might never call me again for supper, or for treats…… or just to snuggle with her!
On second thought, Santa, I’m good here.