I get it. You want to impress. So this weekend has been spent shampooing carpets and cleaning the bathroom tile crevices with a toothbrush.
If you haven’t already, you’ll begin your food preparations today or tomorrow. You’ve already decided whether to go with something new or the tried-and-true holiday favorites. Turkey or alternative meat-free roast. Dressing or stuffing. Green bean casserole. Pumpkin pie.
Some of you are even decorating for Christmas before the guests arrive.
And of course you’ve consumed all the articles and vlogs on how to keep it simple.
Enough already! Hell, I’m tired just writing all this!
These crazy holiday gathering expectations make me want to vomit all over your freshly pressed table runner. Get a fucking grip, will ya?
This holiday was originally a celebration of having survived a year of hardship, and was marked by eating, drinking, and shooting off guns. And all that food consumed was cooked by 4 over-worked women, because by then those four were the only ones left. The place stunk too, because Pilgrims didn’t bathe. That cleanliness is next to godliness thing? That didn’t come over on the Mayflower.
Fast-forward almost 500 years and we’ve gone to antiseptic living conditions, but we’re still over-working the women. Sisters, enough! The guests who truly carry a grateful heart would be happy with a peanut butter sandwich. And the rest? Well, who really gives a shit what they think anyway? They are petty and spiteful and probably jealous.
Let me be clear: I am not grateful that you’re killing yourself this week to clean and cook and entertain, then spending money all weekend long on things others don’t need and probably don’t want either. And the fact that you’re doing all that spending in the name of the Christ child is kinda creepy if you think about it.
So here’s the advice that no one will give you about how to celebrate Thanksgiving: Be open to whatever the day brings. Be grateful for what you have, especially if you’re not a white dude, because this time next year you might not have it. And quit worrying about being perfect. Not a one of you I’m guessing will lie on your deathbed mourning that you won’t have one more chance to get the meal right. At least, I hope you don’t.
Enjoy your day. Enjoy your life.
If you have some free time in the next couple of months (insert eye roll emoji here), how about checking out I Am Magazine. This online mag celebrates ALL women, not just the young skinny pretty ones. I am a bit partial since they posted one of my blog posts recently. But even if they hadn’t, I wholeheartedly support anyone who’s working toward making the world an equal place for all women.