Last week I passed the halfway point in my NeuroStar transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) treatment, so I thought I’d give you an update. I’ve noticed improvement in how I feel, my energy level, and my ability to focus. For example, before I began treatment, I’d make sure I did all my pet chores (feed, walk … Continue reading
I was heartened and yet saddened by the number of people who have reached out to me since my last blog post. Many reached out privately. While I respect your reasons for doing so, I couldn’t help but rage that we still suffer alone and silently while abusive people go on with their lives. I … Continue reading
No, I didn’t go out on New Years Eve. I sat home alone and went to bed around 10pm. No one wanted to spend the evening with me. So now this is my cover photo on Facebook: And why shouldn’t it be? It’s what my brain has been telling me all week. Yes, Jen, YOU … Continue reading
I knew when I started ugly crying in the shower this morning that this week is going to be really bad. I put up a Tinder profile before Thanksgiving looking for a date for New Year’s Eve. Here we are three days out and I have no date. So what? I was alone for Thanksgiving. … Continue reading
I started the NeuroStar TMS treatment Tuesday. Several people have expressed interest in the treatment so I’ll share what it’s been like for me thus far. NeuroStar transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) targets, “key areas of the brain that are underactive in people with depression (NeuroStar website).” This treatment is for those of us who have … Continue reading
I met with my therapist this week and she made a shocking announcement to me: “You are no longer depressed.” Wow! Really? I knew I’d been thinking that, but to have an objective observer who knows me well to say so is affirming. So what does a person who has suffered with depression for much … Continue reading
There is nothing more beautiful to me than a sincere smile. I’ll never forget a story my friend Lynn once told me of the most beautiful woman she’d ever met in her life. Lynn said that when she first met the woman, all she saw was a scarred and weathered old face, but then the … Continue reading
When wading hip-deep through the Swamp of Depression, I thought I was just hurting on the inside. Now that I’m exiting the swamp, I can see a panoramic view of my depression. This morning I saw a photo of me during a recent volunteer activity for a political candidate, and I saw my physical size … Continue reading
Last Saturday I took my car through the car wash. Afterward I vacuumed and wiped down the interior. So what? So that’s the first time I’d done that in several months, even though I’d wanted to. I’ve wanted to write blog posts. Clean my apartment. Do laundry. I’ve wanted to feel better. Depression is insidious … Continue reading
I had a job interview today. Job interviews are a source of stress for me, starting with deciding what to wear. I usually choose the conservative black skirt with a top and jazz it up a bit with a belt. It’s not really my style, but I have to be mindful of the message the … Continue reading